Halloween Hijinx
by Amber Skye
Summary: Vegeta isn't pleased when Bulma dresses him up and drags him to an office costume party. He's sure it will be a miserable night -- and with his attitude, it probably will be. Oneshot.


**Halloween Hijinx**

by Amber Skye

* * *

"This is completely idiotic."

"Stop being such a sourpuss," Bulma chided. She lifted her hands to straighten Vegeta's collar. "You'll have fun, trust me."

"I don't know any of these people."

"That's part of what parties are for, to get to know them."

"I look ridiculous."

"I don't see how this is any more ridiculous than that neon blue suit you insist on wearing with your armor all the time."  
Vegeta yanked his sunglasses off and glared at her. "It is not neon blue! It is cobalt, the official color of the ruling family on the Saiyan homeworld and a privilege to wear."

Bulma glared right back. "You put those glasses back on."

He threw up his hands. "I can't see a damned thing with them on! What's the point of having them anyway, it's nighttime."

Bulma shoved the sunglasses back onto his nose with more force than was necessary. "They look _cool_. And your character never takes them off, so don't let me catch you trying to get rid of them during the party."

"I feel like I'm wearing a dress."

"Oh, for pity's sake!" Bulma withheld the urge to smack him. "It's a trench coat. A man's trench coat. There is nothing remotely dress-like about it. If you're just going to complain all night, I have half a mind to send you home."

Vegeta brightened, as much as was possible for his eternally-angry visage. "Finally, we agree. I'll see you when you get back then."

"Oh, no you don't." She snagged his ear before he could turn away. "For putting up such a fuss you deserve to be miserable for the next three hours. You're going."

"Let go of my ear, woman!"

Ignoring him, she pushed the door open and dragged him through without much effort. It surprised her sometimes, how easy it was to get Vegeta to do something if she twisted his ear. Especially considering he was one of the greatest fighters in the universe, used to getting pummeled to the point of near-death on an almost regular basis. Yet the moment she pinched two fingers into his ear, he crumbled. She wondered if he really did have a very sensitive ear, or if he was just allowing her to win.

The thoughts disappeared though as Bulma entered the office suite, filled with her fellow coworkers from CapsuleCorp. They were all dressed for Halloween, costumes colorful and dark, gory and silly. Heavy metal blared from a speaker at one end of the room.

Bulma smiled and adjusted the cat ears on her head. She always dressed as a cat to the yearly Halloween party.

A skinny man dressed as a zombie approached them. "Hey, Bulma! Good to see you."

She gave him a wave. "Hi Steve."

Steve the zombie glanced at Vegeta, with his long black trench coat and dark sunglasses. "Nice outfit. Neo, from the Matrix, right?"

From behind the glasses, Vegeta glared at him.

"That's right," Bulma answered. "It suits him, don't you think?"

"You look like an idiot," Vegeta said, looking over the blood and gore that Steve had splattered himself with. "What are you, the loser in a fight?"

Steve blinked at him, looking insulted.

"Tell you what," Bulma grabbed Vegeta's shoulders and turned him so he was facing the opposite end of the room and gave a little push. "Why don't you go get me some punch, okay? _Take your time_."

Even though she was behind him, Vegeta could feel the icy glare she was giving him. _Take your time_, she said. In other words, _you're really annoying me, so leave for a few minutes_. Fine, he could do that. He had no desire to spend energy in meaningless small talk anyway.

As Vegeta stalked away towards the snack table, Bulma turned back to her coworker with a little sigh of relief. "Sorry about that, Steve. He's a little high-strung."

"A little?" Steve glanced at the saiyan as he stomped across the room. Steve thought he could feel the floor shaking just a little with each footstep. "He looks like he wants to rip someone's head off."

"Don't worry about it, he's all bark."

"Oh!" Steve pointed a finger at her. "Before I forget, I know it's a party, but could I talk to you quickly about the capsule chips?"

Bulma didn't mind. "Oh, sure, there's no problem with them, I hope?"

Steve shook his head. "I don't think so. It's just about the converter rings…"

Across the room, Vegeta stood by the punch bowl and picked up one of the paper cups. He gripped it too hard, and the cup crumpled in his hand. "Damn it!" He tossed the cup onto the floor. "Why do earthlings make everything so fragile?"

"Hey, Neo! Nice costume, dude." A CapsuleCorp worker wrapped like a mummy waved at him.

"My name is Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans!" Vegeta shouted.

The mummy looked at him curiously. "Oh. Sorry. You sure look like the Matrix guy." He walked off.

Vegeta turned back to the table and picked up a paper cup carefully this time. It stayed intact. He poured some punch, then turned to take it to Bulma.

"It sounds like maybe you just need to realign the converters with the matrix," Bulma was saying.

"Well that's what we thought, but it still had the flux problems even after realignment."

Bulma mulled that over for a moment. "How about bypassing the secondary matrix then, and going directly to the source?"

Steven snapped his fingers. "Didn't think of that. Okay, I'll let the guys know and we'll try it first thing Monday. Thanks, Bulma."

"No problem."

"And by the way, cute costume." As he turned to leave, Steve reached around Bulma to give her cat tail a pat farewell—and he wound up giving her butt a quick squeeze as well.

Out of nowhere, the punch bowl came flying through the air and smashed into the side of Steve's head. Bright red juice sprayed everywhere and Steve hit the floor, a massive bruise already forming on his jaw.

Vegeta charged the prone man and grabbed him by the collar, yanking him halfway back to his feet and throttling him. "I saw that, you lowlife! How dare you come on to my woman?"

Steve scrabbled for an apology. "I—I didn't mean it—I'm sorry—"

"You should be!" Vegeta dropped him and Steve scrambled away. Vegeta almost moved to go after him, but caught the look that Bulma was giving him at the last second.

She seethed. "Well that was just great."

"What? He was out of line."

"No, _you're _out of line." Bulma folded her arms. "Fantastic job getting me some punch, by the way."

He blinked at her for a moment, then looked down. His hand was in a tight fist, the paper cup crushed and red juice dripping all over his arm. "Oh, hell." He held out a hand to placate her. "Just wait a minute, I'll get another one—"

"That was the only punch bowl."

Vegeta spun back to look at the snack table. It was true—there weren't any other drinks. "Damn it!"

"If you're so eager to get out of here that you have to destroy the food and assault one of my co-workers, then just leave already." She pointed to the door.

Vegeta clenched his jaw in defiance for a moment, then stomped out of the room. He slammed the door behind him and a moment later it fell off its hinges.

"She insists on dragging me here, then kicks me out in the first five minutes. Who does she think she is?" The saiyan clomped down the corridors, ranting out loud, not paying attention or caring where he was going.

He rounded the corner—and nearly bumped into someone. He took a step back and realized that it was an entire group of men, six of them, all wearing ski masks to hide their faces.

For a moment, Vegeta was unsure. "What is this, more stupid costumes?"

Then he noticed that they were all wearing uniforms of some sort – a company uniform, actually, with the logo sewn across the front of their shirts that said NeuTech.

Vegeta almost groaned out loud. NeuTech was a rival technology corporation that did not have a large a base as CapsuleCorp. Their products were not as wide-spread, and it was common knowledge that they harbored a fierce hatred for the more successful CapsuleCorp.

_Then_ Vegeta noticed that they all had rifles slung across their backs.

As he was standing there, trying to digest the scenario, the thug in front pulled his rifle forward and aimed it at Vegeta. "Hey guys, I think Neo got lost and missed the party."

Some of the guys snickered. One in the back unslung his rifle as well. "He can be our first victim!"

Vegeta stared down the rifle barrel, unperturbed. "You idiots have no idea who you're messing with."

The thug poked him with the end of the gun. "Huh, I think he actually thinks he's Neo. Like he thinks he can stop us." He held the rifle steady again. "Word of advice: don't let a costume go to your head."

The thug pulled the trigger.

Vegeta's hand shot forward and slapped the bullet out of midair before it even got close to its mark.

The bandit's eyes widened. "Holy—!"

Vegeta smirked. "Go ahead, try again. I dare you."

In response, all six rifles pointed towards him and fired.

Vegeta's hands made a blur in front of him. He picked some bullets off, flicking them away or ricocheting them back the way they had come. Others he disintegrated with tiny bursts of energy from his palm and fingertips. He let the ones that missed simply go past him—no sense wasting energy on them. For more than a minute he defended himself against the onslaught, bullet after bullet coming at his face, his chest, his arms, his stomach.

And almost as quickly as it began, the shooting stopped. The thugs gaped as Vegeta smirked at them, completely unharmed.

"Holy crap," one of the men muttered to his comrade, "I think he _is_ Neo."

"Even better," Vegeta said. "I am Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans!" With a quick push off his foot he launched himself forward. Suddenly he was in their midst, too close for them to shoot anymore without them hitting one another.

First he grabbed the lead thug's rifle and bent the barrel with a quick twist of his hand. He shoved the gun into the man's chest, pushing him back into his colleagues and tripping several of them up. One thug came at him from the side, trying to get an arm around his neck. Vegeta snagged the man's wrist and, before he even knew he'd been caught, sent him flying across the room and into the wall, headfirst. The man's head punctured the wall and lodged there, like a dart in a dartboard. He hung, half in the wall, his legs flailing.

A second thug dove for Vegeta's feet, trying to trip him up. The saiyan kicked him as he dove, the toe of his boot connecting solidly with the man's face. There was a nasty _crack _and the thug staggered back, blood running freely down his face from his now-broken nose.

Vegeta threw a quick punch at the next closest thug to his right. The man lifted his rifle in an attempt to block the blow, but something as fragile as a factory-made rifle wasn't going to stop Vegeta's fist. The punch snapped the rifle in half and kept going, landing heavily in the man's stomach. He doubled over and sank to the ground.

Two goons came at him at the same time then, one from each side, maybe in an attempt to divide his concentration. Such a tactic from mere mortals stood no chance against a Saiyan prince, however.

The first swung the butt of his rifle up, ready to smash it over Vegeta's head while the second came in low, aiming a kick at Vegeta's groin. Vegeta sidestepped the kick too fast for the man to follow, and his foot swished through empty air. At the same time the rifle came down, and Vegeta caught the blow solidly with his hand. He twisted the rifle from the man's hand and tossed it aside, then grabbed the unfortunate guy's face as the second thug swung his foot back for another kick. With a quick pull, Vegeta swung the first goon by his head and tossed him into his friend. They went down in a tangled pile of flailing arms and legs.

The remaining thug had dropped his rifle and was in full retreat. "I don't think so," Vegeta smirked. He powered up a small blast of energy in his hand and let loose. The blast caught the thug before he could clear the hallway, sending him smashing into the wall with such force that the drywall cracked and caved in where he hit. He stayed upright in his crater for a moment, then collapsed to the ground.

Threat averted.

And just then, Bulma came down the hall. She saw Vegeta and hurried to come up to him. "Oh! Good, I'm glad I found you. I'm sorry I kicked you out, I just didn't want you to—" She stopped. "What happened?!"

It was only then that Vegeta was able to take a good look at the hallway and realized how mangled and charred it looked. A man half stuck through one wall, char marks from his energy blasts, men scattered on the ground moaning, craters on the walls, blood from the broken-nosed thug on the floor.

She gaped at him.

He felt the sudden need to explain himself. "They were armed! They had rifles, and were going to shoot everyone."

Bulma pointed at his hands. "With what, paint guns?"

Vegeta looked down at his hands. They were covered with splotches of bright color—blue, red, yellow, and green. "What the hell?" He glanced behind him at the wall, where the bullets that had missed had gone past him. The wall, too, was splattered with paint.

He had successfully blocked and dodged paint balls.

One of the thugs on the floor crawled forward towards Bulma. "We're…we're sorry, miss…it was…just a prank…to pay you guys back from last year…"

"Oh, for pity's sake." Bulma helped the man to his feet. "It was a Halloween prank, Vegeta. We do this with NeuTech every year—pranks at Halloween and April Fools, Yankee Swaps at Christmas. They were coming to crash the party for fun, that's all." She shook her head. "I can't take you anywhere."

Vegeta threw his hands in the air. "How was I supposed to know?"

Bulma just rolled her eyes and helped the rest of the NeuTech employees up. "You're always looking for any excuse for a fight, aren't you?"

"That had nothing to do with it!" Vegeta sputtered.

"Sure it didn't. Go home, Vegeta, I'll see you there when the party's over." She led the NeuTech guys back down the hallway towards the party, handing one of them her handkerchief to staunch his nose.

When they were gone and he was alone in the hallway again, Vegeta sighed. He pulled off the sunglasses and glared at them. "This holiday is completely idiotic." He headed for the building exit.

As he passed one of the offices, he caught a quick glimpse of himself in the glass. He looked at the reflection, glanced down at the glasses in his hand, and after a moment, slid them back over his eyes. He looked in the glass again, cocked his head, and said, "Huh."

He strode out into the Halloween night, and flew home with his sunglasses still on.

* * *

Author's Note: Special thanks to my boyfriend, who inspired this fic by showing me DBZ (his favorite anime ever) and by the fact that he has cosplayed as both Vegeta and Neo.


End file.
